He's here.

We are so happy to say that our little man is finally here! Although I am so happy, it has been really rough on me. I still haven't been able to hold him. Let me explain. Well the babies heart rate kept dropping way low when I was only dilated to like a four. The nurses were able to get his heart rate back to normal, and then it would decrease a lot. There were very worried. After trying so much, they came to me with a worried face and said we needed to talk about getting a csection to get him out. I told him whatever needed to be done to make sure the baby was alright. They said they wanted to try something and that it was difficult, and it sure was. Remember that I got the epidural so I was numb from the stomach down. They wanted me to get up on all fours and see if it would help the baby. After much struggle I was able to do it and I laid on the bed on all fours and my body started shaking so much...but it was helping the heart rate. They checked my cervix and I was at a ten so they told me I would try pushing him out so I could maybe avoid a c section. The doctor came in and had me start pushing at 10:45 and at 11:08 the baby was born. I know I lucked out in pushing. The doctor had to get him out QUICK so they pretty much just ripped him out of me with forcepts. The baby came out and they took him away right away so I knew something was wrong. I laid there in the bed crying and crying and reaching my arms out to the baby as best as I could. They cleaned him up and weighed him. 8 lbs 4 ounces. Then they measured his length and he is 21 1/2 inches long. He has a major cone head because of the force with the forcepts so they said as the conehead decreases that he will be a little shorter than that. Then they told me they would hold the baby and let me kiss him and then they would have to take him away. They hurried and walked him over to me, I kiss his cheek, and off he went. I just cried and cried. My body at this point was in so much shock and every inch of my body was shaking. The doctor finished stitching me up and finishing what he needed to do. I stayed with my mom and Allen went to make sure the baby was okay. After about an hour or so I begged my nurse to let me see my child. She tried to help me clean up and prove to her I would be okay. She wheeled me into the NICU to see our baby. He is hooked up to machines and his head is inside of what looks like a fish bowl. It is so hard to see him like that. He sure is precious. They said that the baby barely has any oxygen and is not breathing well. At this point they were doing tests on him to know what was going on. They said that the baby was struggling with the long labor...I can imagine! 21 hour labor. I still have not been able to hold my baby, I can only look at him. Allen and I are leaving in just a moment to go spend time with him and to get more answers. They said there may be a chance that he will still be in the NICU and we may be leaving the baby behind. I DONT WANT THAT! Last night was the hardest in the world to go see him and I couldnt hold him and then they told me I needed to go to sleep. I just wanted to stay with my baby! I will post pictures soon and more of an update when we find out for more.