Baby Update

Well our little guy is hanging in there.  Today he got the hiccups for the very first time.  That was so exciting for mommy.  It put a huge smile on my face and it wouldn't go away!  I just love him so much and can't get him out of my mind.  Tomorrow I am 36 weeks pregnant.  Can you believe that?  It is so exciting to be so close.  My emails say that at 36 weeks the baby should weigh about 6 pounds and is somewhere around 18 1/2 inches long.  It also says that most likly the baby is head down and waiting to come out.  Tomorrow I have a doctors appointment.  Allen and I are going together and they are going to check my cervix.  So tomorrow we will find out if I have started efacing or dialating.  I sure hope I have started but if not, that's okay.  There is still plenty of time.  I now have weekly appointments which makes everything much more real.  I just can't express enough how anxious I am to hold my little monkey and kiss the crap out of him.  I hope he can handle it because I have so much love waiting to give to him!  

At this point I am so anxious but I also am starting to get a little nervous.  I am nervous that I wont be a good mom or something.  I am scared for so many things.  I am scared to put him to bed in too many layers and find him sweating.  I am scared to put him in too little amounts of clothes and him be cold.  I am scared to have the water temperature for a bath off.  I am scared that I wont be able to do everything perfect.  I want him to be comfortable and to love me.  I hope I will be a good mother.  

I have been going through his things and doing inventory.  I want to make sure I have what I need for him.  I know exactly how many sleepers, onesies, sweat pants he has, etc.  It's crazy how the mother card happens.  Lately I have been going crazy about everything, including finances.  That may have a ton to do with that we are going down to one income and Allen's hours being cut, but also that I want to be a good mother/wife.  Lately I have been really working on our budget and making sure we can provide for this little guy.  I am starting to stress about not having food storage again and scared that our little guy wont have diapers to cover his bum.  I just know that if Allen and I are doing everything we can and we put the Lord first that we will be blessed.  This Sunday felt especially great filling out that tithing slip and then giving our fast offerings.  When you are struggling the most it feels so good to give what little you have back to the Lord.  It makes me feel so good inside because I know that no matter how much we may be struggling, there are people out there worse off than us.  I know that if we continue to do this and go to the Temple together that everything will work out just fine.  I am so grateful for the knowlege I have and for the challenges we face.  If anything I feel that it has brought Allen and I closer and we can appreciate more of the little things in life.  

I just love life and I love my husband so much.  He means the world to me and I just can't get enough of him.  I am so grateful for his hard work and his willingness to pick up extra shifts.  He is being a great provider and a wonderful husband.  I am so excited for what the future holds for us and for the little bundle of joy that is about to enter our family.  What wonderful blessings!