One year ago today...

One year ago, I brought my beautiful baby boy into this world. I loved him from the moment I saw him!

I remember the tough time I had in the hospital after he was born. I remember the pain I felt when they told me I could not hold him. I remember the joy I felt when I was finally able to hold him the following day. I struggled with that fact that Riley wasn't healthy. I really struggled. I remember every emotion I felt as I walked through the door of my house, without him. I was a mess. The first step I took into our home, I just broke down. I thought that we would deliver our baby and come home with him 2 days later. I had not prepared myself for what was happening. I remember the tears I shed as I laid in my bed that night, thinking about how my baby was in the hospital, and I couldn't be. The joy I felt one week later, when I finally brought him to our home was just unbelievable. We did it! We brought our precious baby home!

Riley stood by me everyday this past year as I learned how to be a mother and care for him. This past year has been filled with happiness, tears, joy, breakdowns, laughs, and smiles. Having a child, is not just all fun and games. It is hard. It is a lot of work...but so worth it. As I struggled through really bad post-partum depression, my husband and son stood my me. They loved me. Everyday, Riley still loved me. He didn't know that I couldn't handle life, all he knew is that he loved me so much. He would hug me and give me kisses and smiles all day long.

I love Riley with all my heart. Everyday, this love grows. He brings constant joy into my life. Every night as he sleeps, I miss him. I miss when he is not next to me. He has so much love to give. We love watching him grow everyday, and seeing his personality shine through. He has such a big personality and just loves life.

We love you so much Riley! You will always be my little baby!